Thanks to a suggestion from our member, Dr Patricia Armstrong-Grant, this month’s theme is Advance Care Directives. In other parts of the world it may be better known as End-of-Life Planning.
As we have members from around the world, I’m curious about how this delicate subject is talked about in your country?
Preparing To Leave
We already have an excellent article on our blog - Preparing to Leave - by Dr Armstrong-Grant. You may like to refer to that as you contemplate what you would want included in your own Advance Care. Here’s the link: https://www.dementiamarathon.org/blog/preparing-to-leave .
If you live in Australia, there is a form you can download and complete at no cost.
Why Advance Planning Matters
Advance Planning may not be the topic you are yearning to get into.
Why should you bother?
Because a decent plan makes life easier for you. And likewise, makes life easier for those around you. Ask any solicitor if you want confirmation. Or read Dr Armstrong-Grant’s article. The feedback she has had so far is that reading and thinking about her words has given readers much greater peace of mind around this issue.
Sure, this is not a subject we like to think about.
I used to think that this was because it seemed for away and non-urgent.
But more recently, as I age, I realise that Advance Planning matters are not so far away and they have taken on a new degree of urgency.
Grief May Stand In Our Way
And I also suspect that a major obstacle to thinking about our own Advance planning is a deep seated sense of grief that is very hard for us to deal with.
Three suggestions
If you suspect this might be the case for you, then I suggest you begin very gently by just ‘dipping your toe in the water’ so to speak.
- David Kessler is a world-recognised ‘expert’. He has recently extensively revised a book, You Can Heal Your Heart that he co-authored with Louise Hay (now no longer with us) back in 2014. He deals in a practical way with several varieties of grief including relationship breakups and death of a pet. I downloaded his book to my Kindle and found his many stories helpful and also his suggestions on using affirmations.
- Another approach - that I would strongly recommend - is to find someone you know with whom you can talk things over in a non-threatening way.
- And remember, there really is no shame in seeking professional help if you think this could be useful.
What To Do Next
- If you already have a will, well done. Do you also have an Advance Planning directives? We will come back to this important topic so don’t stress if you don’t yet have this in place.
- If you don’t yet have a will and you live in Australia, you can buy a template locally. They used to be available at the local newsagents. They probably still are. This is the cheapest route, and certainly better than nothing, but any solicitor will tell you that a professionally written will, informed by a combination of your own particular circumstances and the solicitor’s expertise, will serve you much better.
- If you do have a will, then review it to check whether it accurately reflects your wishes and whether it may need updating. Then check, where is it located? Where have you stashed it? Can it be easily found when needed? Is it clearly labelled?
If You Suspect Dementia or Alzheimer’s
Then you definitely need to have a will and an Advance Planning directives in place BEFORE getting a diagnosis.
Remember, we are all getting older and the greatest risk factor for Alzheimer’s is - you guessed - AGE. This certainly doesn’t mean we are all going to develop this brain degenerative disease. Not at all. BUT, we are all at risk to one degree or another.
And one of the things we can do to make life easier for ourselves and those around us is to make a will and have a clear Advance Planning Directive.
Next Week
Next week we’ll take a look at WHAT an Advanced Planning Directive can involve in an Australian context and what this implies for people living with dementia or Alzheimer’s