Let’s face it, many of us find the holiday hard to get through. I’m one of them. So I decided to include this.
Celebration
Times of celebration happen regularly. Celebration can brighten our life and infuse daily living with a greater sense of meaning and purpose.
But …
The holiday season can be hard.
We may have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We expect too much of ourselves and then we blame ourselves when we don’t cope as well as we’d like to.
Our individual circumstances may have changed. What was once hugely enjoyed and taken for granted is seemingly gone for ever.
We have to cope with extra demands. Extra expense, more social activities …
Another factor that may affect the holiday season but is rarely considered is the unconscious influence of our ancestral past.
Mark Wolynn wrote, It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are And How To End The Cycle. He gives many examples of people who were puzzled about unexplained aspects of their lives. Later these experiences took on new meaning when something that had happened to an ancestor was revealed.
Dementia in the holiday season
Added to these stresses is the knowledge that the next stage of life’s marathon involves a degenerative condition for which as yet there is no cure. We may find ourselves putting on a brave face while dealing with an avalanche of debilitating negative emotions.
I’m reminded of the story of the traveller who reflected it would be easier to get to his destination if he could only start from some place else!
Suggestions for coping
One or two of these ideas may resonate with you.
If they do, take things slowly and don’t expect instant results.
Remember, you are running your own life marathon, so pace yourself and do it your way.
- Give yourself extra time. This may mean cutting out less ‘important’ things. But don’t let yourself run ragged.
- Practice saying, ‘No thanks’. Really, you don’t need to give any explanation. If you don’t want to do something that is your business, no explanation needed.
- Take regular 3R breaks: Rest, Relaxation, Recreation. Take time out to do things you ENJOY. Whatever they may be. Be honest with yourself about what you really do enjoy doing and who you most enjoy doing it with.
- Consider the mantra,’This too shall pass’. Then find something SMALL you can enjoy or that will distract you.
- Optimise your lifestyle by just a small amount. Can you eat fractionally better, sleep fractionally better, exercise or move a bit more, help another person … ?
- Practice Gratitude. There’s plenty of solid research that confirms that practicing Gratitude regularly affects how we feel and act in very positive ways.
As you decide which, if any, of these suggestions, might help you cope better with the Holiday Season, remember, you ARE on a marathon. And there are other people running with you.
One of the reasons we started the Dementia Marathon Community was to have the benefit that comes from being able to turn to others in similar situations for support.
In the Comments below, we look forward to seeing your ideas.
Give yourself a HUGGG …
Another friend and reader suggested the acronym HUGGG.
We all need a nice warm hug from time to time.
H. Hello, How are you? Are you OK? Take a moment to say ‘Hello’ to yourself and check in on how you are.
U. Understand your situation. Again, take a moment to Understand your situation. What is going on for you and what are you feeling - at the moment?
G.G.G. The triple G is for Giving, Gratitude, and Go and do something - practices that have all been shown to be protective against stress and depression. So, what are you waiting for? Stop now, take a moment for yourself and give yourself a HUGGG!