This month, being January, planning was to be the focus. But … r
Life does get in the way!
So, today, the topic is -
Rollercoastering!
I've been asking myself,
How do I respond, when life takes me by surprise and i feel like I'm on a rollercoaster?
Swinging from one experience to another, too fast to be comfortable, feeling that I don't have time to take a proper breath before the next experience hits?
Does anyone else feel, like Kerry and myself, that life and the dementia route are taking us on a rollercoaster ride rather than allowing us to walk along a pleasant, quiet, familiar trail?
Glimpse of Scotland
Just to bring you up to date, Kerry and her husband are visiting Scotland and currently on a bus trip.
At one point the bus was delayed while staff helped a woman who was lost but didn’t know she was lost. To the great credit of the drivers and passengers, everybody kept their cool until that one passenger's problem was sorted out and the remaining passengers boarded the next bus.
When I read about the incident, my first thought was that the passenger may have had dementia. But, I might be wrong. We can all experience disorientation, especially when life deals us the rollercoaster experience.
What would a dementia-friendly environment look like?
Nevertheless, whether or not that passenger had dementia, to my mind, the story provides a great example of how a dementia-friendly environment works.
People are accepted for how they are in the moment and the community around them gives them the time and space and perhaps the help needed to attend to and sort outwhat they need to.
That woman may have felt that day that her life was on a roller coaster, hopefully there was a good ending with her reaching her destination safely.
How do you deal with being on a roller coaster?
Here are a few things that work for me. Most of the time.
First up, I try to remember, roller coasters originate in fairgrounds and so they are supposed to be FUN., Yes, fun. Some people actually enjoy them!
If I remember, I ask myself what I can find in the experience that could be regarded as fun and exciting! Or I think of other people I've met, with very different backgrounds from myself, and ask myself how they might experience this particular roller coaster event.
This leads me to remember that excitement is excitement: for some people excitement can be really enjoyable and invigorating; for others like myself, we go in the opposite direction towards overwhelm!
I remember being quite stunned the first time I read that the emotion of excitement was actually neutral and it is the meaning that we put on our emotion that makes it into a positive or a negative experience.
And this leads me, often, to a third reflection, ’This too shall pass’.
While I may know intellectually that I am the one who puts the positive or negative spin on the rollercoaster, I've found that my body doesn't always agree! I still feel more overwhelmed than energised.
But I do know that we are all constantly in a process of change. Just as positive emotions slip away, so do negative emotions dissolve. As the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus said, 'You can't step into the same river twice'.
What works for you when life becomes a roller coaster?
Please reply and share your comments below.