I started out to write about future planning and I may write again about that as it is something I find fascinating. 

But today I focus on just one thing: ’Seize the day’. As the poem says, ‘Gather ye rosebuds while you can … ‘

What have I learned?

From knowing virtually nothing about dementia when my friend was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) a few years ago to having a working knowledge of the syndrome and its many manifestations today, I’ve learned quite a bit. 

Seize the day. ’Tomorrow’ may never come!

Don’t put off till tomorrow, what can be enjoyed today. 

I’ll always be glad I insisted that we forge ahead with our plan to drive to The Diggers Olinda gardens and have lunch there although my friend had doubts and was arguing for postponing our adventure. 

We had a wonderful day, ate a delicious lunch in idyllic surroundings, were cosseted by the restaurant staff. Together, we appreciated the trees, the shrubs, the flowers, the blue sky, and our shared enjoyment. 

We arrived home late afternoon to the breaking news that Melbourne and its surrounds would be in lockdown from the following day. 

That was the last outing we enjoyed together. It was also the last time I saw my friend as more than a shadow of her former self. 

From then on, the rules decreed that I had to wait my turn for the limited access to residents and visits were confined to a specified seating area. Trips to the ‘outside' were not possible. 

I had to wonder how my friend experienced all of this with her failing health. I imagine the frustration of not knowing what was happening and not being able to find words to articulate her feelings would have been intense. 

I could see the decline in her faculties on each visit. 

Knowing that there could well come a time when she would no longer recognise me, I decided to wear the same jacket each time in the hope that this might prolong her sense of who I was even with PPE masking. Vain hope. 

When I was asked by a family member at her funeral if she still recognised me at the end, I had to say that honestly, I didn’t know. 

So What … ? 

In hindsight, I’d advise my younger self 

• Be open to any ‘window of opportunity’ that presents. Consider taking that joint holiday, drinking that good bottle of wine together; booking the better seats for the concert of your choice. 
• Recognise that we do better in a shared life. Share hugs, share appreciation, share gratitude. 
• Be present when you can. We can’t always be present to ourselves, far less, present to others and present for others. Be prepared to accept that and to enjoy what you can. Cultivate good memories. They will be around to enjoy later! 

Let’s compare notes

I’d love to compare notes and hear about your learnings.  

What comes to mind? 

Add your comments below. 

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